He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
