Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
