i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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