Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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