i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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