I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
