she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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