i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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