I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
