So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
