he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize