You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Im part way to drunk.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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