How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
