come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize
