I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
