ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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