You work out of a Hotel?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
