There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just pee around me
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize