I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
