We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
