you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
