so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
