Sry I called you an 8
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize