For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
