Just cropdusted the office
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize