I want to walk on stilts...naked
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
