in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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