what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
