this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just gift wrapped bread.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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