when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
there is puke in my bra ... again
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
