i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
