His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
