Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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