in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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