so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
