if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
