All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
