am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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