So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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