so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
