My sheets look like a crime scene.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
