matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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