Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
