k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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