OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
