Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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