She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
