Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just cropdusted the office
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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