To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Apparently you make a good broom.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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