your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's shark week go big or go home
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
