god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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