we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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