just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
