We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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