I wish I only lived at night.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize