can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
